


My Body, Your Instrument

by SaadieStuff



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, Feels, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Michael's first time trying a thing, Porn with Feelings, Smut, Softness, angsty sex turns into fun sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-11-14 23:17:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18062093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaadieStuff/pseuds/SaadieStuff
Summary: Michael comes to Alex looking to find something else that makes him feel quiet.(A Malex reunion set some time post-1x07.)He can’t form words, his breath stolen every time ... no control of his own incoherent symphony - groans ripping from his throat, whimpers slipping from his lips.





	My Body, Your Instrument

**Author's Note:**

> Am I obsessed with Malex reunions and Michael’s thing about needing quiet? Why yes, yes I am. 
> 
> This is canon compliant through 1x07, of course with headcanon added, and also playing off some of Carina's recent tweets. Surprisingly this came out mostly from Alex's POV.

Alex opens his door to find Michael standing there, his face a little bloodied from a cut on his cheek.

"Look, I know you don't want to see me,” Michael says quickly, like he’s expecting the door to be slammed in his face, “I know I'm not good enough for you--"

"Guerin--" Alex interrupts tiredly, crossing his arms and leaning on the door frame, eyes cast down.

"But everything is so fucked up and I-- I need to forget. I need to think about somethin’ else.” He sounds desperate. “Just for a little while. I need--"

"Quiet?" Alex asks knowingly, tone softened, eyes flicking up to Michael’s face.

Michael nods; he's almost jittery. Alex steps aside, allowing Michael in.

Alex knows he'd been the one who'd ended things weeks ago at the drive-in, and he should hold firm - honestly, for both their sakes. But it’s always been a struggle to say no to Michael, even at the best of times, and tonight Michael looks a mess. Something has gone down, but Alex is afraid to ask what, certain he won’t get a truthful answer anyways.

Michael stares at his feet as he toes off his shoes. Alex watches him, unable to glean much beneath the mop of golden brown curls.

Alex points him down the hall. "Bedroom‘s that way - I'll be there in a minute," he says, even though Michael’s fragile state makes Alex want to wrap him in every blanket and shield him from the world - not strip him naked and bare. But it’s what they do, and it’s all Alex can offer so long as Michael fights so hard against being vulnerable with him.

Short minutes later, when Alex steps into his bedroom, arms full of a towel, cloths, bandages, and other supplies, he finds Michael sitting on the edge of the bed, shirt off but his arms still tangled in the sleeves, crossed in his lap, like he'd run of out energy mid way through removal and given up.

Alex empties his arms onto the bed and sits down next to Michael. Wordlessly he begins cleaning up the cut on Michael's cheek. Michael seems surprised to find that it's there at all.

"It's not as deep as it looks. Must have just bled a lot," Alex says, though mostly to himself, "I don't think it needs a bandage, but I'm going to put some of this salve on it, okay?"

Michael just grunts softly.

When Alex is done with Michael's face, he glances over his torso and arms for other injuries. He gently pulls away the shirt still crumpled around Michael's wrists and hands. They're fine too.

The thought that maybe Michael didn't fight back settles uncomfortably in Alex's gut.

"We could just sleep," Alex suggests, crowding in on Michael, taking his hand, placing a kiss on his shoulder, then moving along to leave one on his neck, and finally, to whisper shyly in Michael’s ear, "I'll hold you. It'll be okay."

As Alex had expected, it's too tender - Michael can't deal - Alex even thinks for a moment that Michael might leave. But he only shakes his head, softly, though the intent clear. Alex sits back.

"Then look alive," Alex says a little crisply, hoping to snap him out of it another way.

“Right,” Michael sniffs, shaking himself a little before quickly undoing his belt and sliding out of his jeans, shedding his socks, all in one smooth movement.

Michael scoots back, on his way grabbing the lube Alex had tossed on the bed earlier, and lies down on his back on the towel, knees bent up, falling open. By the time Alex turns around after removing his own clothes and his prosthetic, Michael has one finger fully inside himself and is trying to work in a second.

Alex halts in his tracks, taking in the sight: Michael's head thrown back into the pillow, eyes closed, biting softly on his bottom lip, naked and spread.

This is new.

Alex has had two fingers curled inside Michael on several occasions while his mouth was full of Michael's cock. But it's never gone beyond that on Michael's end in their mere eight real trysts together.

Gathering his wits, Alex crawls up the bed towards Michael and lies on his side beside him, propped up on an elbow.

Jumping to the next step, Alex asks, "Have you ever done this before?"

As soon as the words leave his mouth Alex finds himself wincing at the echo of their first time. It’s not lost on Michael either; he sucks in a sharp breath.

"I haven't been with other dudes," Michael says flatly to the ceiling.

"I figured," Alex says, pausing only briefly before putting a hand to Michael's bicep, caressing it before tracing up the familiar swoop of Michael’s shoulder and neck until the ends of soft curls tickle Alex’s fingertips.

Alex pulls gently on an errant coil and lets it spring back up. Then he does it again, and Michael relaxes a little.

"You _figured_ , huh? Are you knocking my technique, Manes?" Michael says suddenly, now turning to face Alex and cracking a grin as fast as his walls go up.

Alex chuckles despite himself, because _dammit_ Michael's humourous deflections are so disarming sometimes. "Nope, I just thought I'd have heard something."

They stare at each other for a beat, smiles retreating.

"So, then... am I just special?" Alex asks gently, more curious than anything, and he has been for some time, but they'd never been in a place where it was his business to ask, and maybe they still aren't, even now.

Michael gulps against the lump in his throat, "You are special... but not like that."

Alex nods silently, waiting patiently.

"Guys are-- Sometimes I want--" Michael starts and stops haltingly. He hasn't discussed this with _anyone_ , ever. He sighs, "But I'm just not as brave as you are."

Alex shakes his head, “Yes, you are. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Hell, the first time you were ever with a guy--”

“It was amazing,” Michael interrupts assertively, aggressively meeting Alex’s gaze.

Alex smiles briefly, a flicker of the happy part of that memory springing to the surface before it drowns in dark. Alex drops his chin to his chest, “That’s not what I meant.”

“I know. But… my hand… that’s not the only-- honestly fuck if I even know. But if it was, do you think I’d be here right now?” The tangle of words feel like gravel in his throat.

“I don’t know, Michael. I just know it fucked me up plenty, yet here I am, so...”

“I’m _Michael_ now, am I?” Michael asks, cocking an eyebrow, latching on to anything that will allow him to ignore Alex’s weightier words.

“Listen,” Alex sighs and reaches for Michael again, placing a hand on his chest, “Here, with me, you can be whoever you want to be. And I’ll be whatever you need. But you have to talk to me; you can't shut down like you were doing a minute ago.”

Michael shakes his head. “I didn't come here to talk. I came here for you to fuck me,” he says, a little harshly, but Alex is unfazed, recognizing that his bite is all fear.

“Yeah, you made that pretty clear,” Alex says smoothly, drawing out the words as his hand travels down Michael’s torso, skirting around his cock, then lower, until one finger slips easily inside.

Michael’s eyes close, and his good hand finds his cock. Alex rolls closer into him, dipping to kiss at Michael’s neck while he readies him with his fingers.

Alex dips his finger in and out, circling around, alternating changing the pressure on all sides; eventually pulling up leaves room for a second to join underneath. Michael gasps softly.

Alex works him with two fingers now, in and out against uneven resistance until they glide consistently smoothly. Then he starts scissoring his fingers as he draws them out, and curling them as they plunge in.

“Enough teasing,” Michal rasps out, and as much as it’s a desperate plea for the quiet he craves, it’s also playful, and relief floods over Alex to find that Michael’s mood has shifted.

“It’s not teasing when I’m going to deliver,” Alex quips back before placing a last quick kiss to Michael’s lips as he withdraws his fingers.

Alex takes his time settling himself between Michael’s legs, rolling the condom on, then stroking himself over with lube, all the while considering how he might modify his usual technique. It’s his first time doing this with half a leg and he isn’t sure if his leverage will be too unequal.

“Alex?” Michael gently prods.

“Sorry. Ready?”

“Yeah.”

Alex licks his lips as he drags the head of his cock over Michael’s rim a few times before beginning to press the tip in, with one hand on his cock guiding it, the other hand assisting, thumb stroking firmly up and down Michael’s taint.

“ _Jesus_ , Manes. Get in,” Michael chokes out.

Alex presses harder and the head breaches. Michael sighs with relief at first, but as Alex immediately hits the next wave of resistance, Michael groans frustratedly.

Alex’s free hand moves to stroke up and down Michael’s side comfortingly. His brow furrows at how tense Michael is, even in his chest, which is still, with no rise and fall.

“Would you give yourself ten seconds even, Guerin?” Alex scolds gently when Michael tries unsuccessfully to wriggle further down onto Alex’s cock.

“ _Come_ _on_ ,” Michael whines, impatient, more with himself than Alex, beginning to regret his decision to try this tonight of all nights.

One hand still on his cock, Alex presses no further as he leans over to kiss Michael, long, slow, all-consuming, until Alex feels Michael _breathe_ again, and he pulls back, resting forehead to forehead, “Once you relax, I’ll just--”

_Sink in._

“ _Oh_ , ooh, yeah, _fuck_ ,” Michael groans, letting out a breath so shaky it could be a chuckle.

“That’s it,” Alex says, pleased, and kisses Michael again, both hands now free to embrace him, touch him.

They kiss and rock together for some minutes, Alex’s cock stirring inside Michael, but otherwise staying put, nearly fully seated.

Michael’s hands make their way to Alex’s ass, and as his fingers dig in to the flesh Alex can’t help but start to buck into Michael, shallow stuttered thrusts at first, then longer strokes at Michael’s urging.

But there’s only so much Alex can do with them folded up together like this: Michael’s calves constantly slipping over Alex’s hips as he struggles to keep them crossed behind Alex’s back, his hands ever roaming from Alex’s ass to scratch lightly over his back, to grip at his hair.

“Alex--Alex can--you--" Michael stutters out between kisses, asking for more.

“Yeah,” Alex answers, “Let go.”

Michael hesitates, like he hadn’t considered his request would pull Alex farther away from him, but he obeys.

Alex sits up, runs a hand through sweaty hair, and shifts between Michael’s legs even as his cock stays inside. On Alex’s bad side, he gets Michael to hold behind his knee bent up to his chest, and on the other side Alex rests Michael’s leg on his own shoulder.

Alex starts slow, but with a deeper thrust than he’d been able with the previous angle.

“Oh shit,” Michael swears, squeezing his eyes shut and seeing stars, his mind going blank for a glorious few seconds of peace. “ _Faster_ ,” he begs, chasing serenity.

Alex obliges, and from there on, Michael is just along for the ride. He can’t form words, his breath stolen every time Alex slams back inside, no control of his own incoherent symphony - groans ripping from his throat, whimpers slipping from his lips.

It feels fucking amazing - until somewhere along the line it becomes too much; he’s tired out, adrenaline fading, body beginning to protest the lack of air. Yet Michael is unsure if he wants it to stop even as Alex eases him out of it, each thrust slower, shallower, than the last, in response to Michael involuntarily gripping Alex’s arm tighter and tighter to the point of pain.

“Hey, you okay?” Alex’s voice floats distantly over the fog.

“Mhmm,” Michael hums.

“You looked like you were a little lost there,” Alex says softly.

“Kinda the idea, ain’t it?” Michael smirks, finding his voice.

“I guess,” Alex says, reaching a hand to stroke his face, which Michael nuzzles into, sighing. “You need a break?” Alex asks.

“Dunno… do you?” Michael answers quietly.

“I'm fine,” Alex says, putting the decision back on Michael.

Michael runs a hand through his hair, taking a few deeply needed long breaths. As he relaxes, his muscles force Alex's cock out of him unexpectedly. He'd almost forgotten it was there.

“Whoa. Fuck. That feels…”

“Yeah,” Alex says knowingly.

“I don't need a break,” Michael declares quickly.

Alex chuckles, “Okay, but, you want to ride? Change the pace?”

Michael nods vigorously.

When they've rearranged themselves and Alex has applied more lube, Michael takes him in hand and sits back to fill himself up again while Alex strokes over his thighs.

He starts by bouncing up and down a little experimentally.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Alex groans, biting his lip, “You feel amazing.”

“Good,” Michael says, preening with satisfaction, sitting down fully, letting his hands drift up Alex’s chest, tweaking over his nipples, eliciting a whine from Alex when he rocks down onto him at the same time.

Alex’s hands move to Michael’s hips. “Lean back a little… and if you roll your hips like _this_ ,” he says, guiding Michael’s movement, “and just keep at it until--”

“ _Holy shit_ ,” Michael blasts out, eyes going wide, “Fuck! That feels good.”

Alex laughs, “Does the trick too, huh?”

“Hell ya,” Michael says with enthusiasm as he dives down to kiss Alex.

~~~~~

Later, sated and cleaned up, Michael still getting used to the empty feeling, he screws up all his courage to ask to stay.

“You said earlier… you said we could--”

“Offer still stands,” Alex interrupts, heart not able to take another moment of Michael struggling to find the words to ask for an altogether different sort of intimacy.

As they slip underneath the sheets, Michael wrapped up in Alex’s arms, everything is quiet.

Inside and out.


End file.
